“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996

“Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” ~ George Burns January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996