Murphys, CA…I often hear from parents that they aren’t “into” sleep training their children.  I am a pediatric sleep consultant and to be perfectly honest, I’m not so much into sleep training either.  It’s not the sleep training that I enjoy, it’s the end result which is a well-rested, happier, healthier family!  We are a nation of chronically sleep deprived people that continue to miss our sleep cues daily.  Our children are simply not getting the rest they need at night and it is an epidemic that needs to be seriously addressed.  I know when I’m up multiple times a night for any reason, I feel terrible the next day.  Why is it any different for a baby or child?  Just because they can’t express themselves in the same way we can, they feel terrible!  Exhaustion in little ones often manifests itself as hyperactivity and unfortunately, is not attributed to sleep deprivation.  Humans are designed to get consolidated sleep at night and need it in order to feel well rested during the day.  Fragmented sleep doesn’t allow for proper brain development and has been linked to childhood obesity, hyper activity, and an increased risk for diabetes in children.

Most people that question what I do assume that my method of sleep training is a “Cry it Out Method” which has gotten a lot of scrutiny due to the fact that you leave your baby unattended to cry until they go to sleep.  My approach couldn’t be more different.  My approach is much gentler and, I believe, more effective.  It drives me crazy when parents tell me that their baby is a terrible sleeper.  That’s because you haven’t taught them to be a good sleeper!  EVERY baby can learn to be an amazing sleeper.  Just by making some small changes to schedule and feeding times can make a huge difference in how well a baby sleeps.

For me there was absolutely no other way then to sleep train my children and here’s why:

I can always make it to 7pm:

Let’s face it, being a parent is hard work!  It takes mental clarity, stamina and consistency that can often make a well rested person feel tired.  Knowing every day that my children will be in bed at 7pm, go to sleep easily and not wake until 6:30am the next morning keeps me sane.  If my children were up late every night, woke multiple times per night and were up early every day, I simply wouldn’t be as good a mother.  And, I guarantee my children wouldn’t be as happy and well adjust as they are.

It saves my marriage:

I adore my husband and think we have a great marriage.  That being said, marriage is hard work and marriage combined with parenthood is extra hard work.  Staying connected to your partner after the arrival of children can be challenging at times.  My husband and I have gotten every night from 7pm on for the last 7 years (since we became parents) to ourselves.  Even though we don’t sit down to a candle lit dinner every night at 7pm, we know that times is just ours.  2 hours before we go to bed that is quiet, uninterrupted and blissful.  We can actually have an adult conversation and really listen to each other.  I am certain my marriage survives and thrives in large part due to our young children’s bedtime.

My children can sleep anywhere:

We have taken our children everywhere with us.  We take their stuffed animals and maybe a familiar blanket and wherever we are in the world, they sleep and they sleep well.  They can go to grandma’s house and grandma knows they will sleep ALL night long.  They know when they are tired and very rarely protest at bedtime.  People often say to me that they don’t look tired and can’t believe I am putting them to bed.  They are right, they don’t look tired because they are well rested and we put them to bed before they are over tired.  My 4 & 6 year old will ask to go to bed if they have had a particularly long day.  My children have gone to bed when we have had a party downstairs!  I can count on one hand the times I have let my children stay up past bedtime and I am proud of that consistency in their life.

I know we will get sleep at night:

My children go to sleep all night long and so do we.  We have our own sacred sleep space and they have theirs.  My children have never even asked to sleep in my bed and wouldn’t want to.  They have their own sleep sanctuary that calls to them every night and it is completely separate from mine.  There is no musical beds or bed sharing in the middle of the night and because of this- we ALL sleep well.  I don’t believe that as parents of young children we have to wear our fatigue as some sort of “badge of honor”.  Being a rested parent is an amazing gift to give your child.

I thought I would do it differently:

Before our older son was born I had all of these preconceived ideas about how I would parent.  I thought I would co-sleep and really enjoy it.  He arrived in June of 2009, healthy and amazing!  After 6 weeks of co-sleeping I found myself so exhausted that I wasn’t enjoying being a mother very much.  I didn’t feel like I was being the best mom I could be because I was so tired.  I am a strong, determined woman and I felt like I was failing.  I did some research and discovered the Sleep Sense™ program and it changed our lives forever.  By 8 weeks of age he was an amazing sleeper.  We started our younger son on the Sleep Sense™ program at 10 days old.  My children are two of the best sleepers I know.  Just a side note…..I solely breastfed both of my children.  Neither one of them had a bottle ever in their life nor did I ever use a breast pump.  Contrary to popular belief sleep training did not affect my milk supply at all.

Figure out a way that works to get your children sleeping:

I am certainly not here to tell you that you have to sleep train your children.  20% of babies become good sleepers on their own.  So, if you have one of those babies then that is great!  For the other 80% of babies they don’t “outgrow” being bad sleepers and statistics show that 3 years later they are often still struggling with sleep.  I had a recent 4 year old client that had NEVER slept through the night in her entire life!  The parents thought she would outgrow it.  She didn’t.  I am here to tell you there is help and I don’t believe it is ever too late to teach your young child to sleep well.  I have worked with children up to 8 years old and had great success.  Whether or not you agree with sleep training, your children should be getting adequate, consolidated sleep every night.  How you get there is up to you.

It’s not always convenient:

Let’s be honest- always being consistent and insisting on bedtimes and naptimes every day is far from glamorous. Life can seem like “Groundhog Day” and the routine can be boring.  But, when I see how happy and healthy my children are the monotony of the schedule is TOTALLY worth it!  We have missed many Birthday parties, dinners out with friends, and other social engagements that conflicted with our children’s bedtime and naptimes and I don’t care.  My children’s health and well-being are more important than any social engagement.  I don’t believe children have to fit into our busy schedules.  I believe we should respect how much sleep our children need and rearrange our lives to make certain they get it.

How much sleep do babies and children need every day?

• NB – 3 months: 16 – 18 hours
• 3 – 6 months: about 15 hours
• 6 – 9 months: about 14 hours
• 9 – 12 months: about 13 – 14 hours
• 12 – 24 months: 12 – 13 hours
• 3-8 years: 11-13 hours

If your child isn’t getting this much sleep, I would take a good look at your schedule and figure out how to make this a priority starting today.  Good sleep hygiene is as important as good nutrition for your children.  For whatever reason the priority of adequate sleep often takes a back seat to our busy lives.

If you are struggling with a baby or child that isn’t sleeping well, there is help.  Whether you just need to make it a priority or be more consistent- do something about it.  Don’t spend another day being exhausted because your children don’t sleep at night.

If you need more help, I offer a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation where you can ask me anything about your child’s sleep.  Call me today! (209) 813-0609.

More information about Jo Anna Inks and the Sleep Sense™ program are available at http://www.joannainkssleepsolutions.com To book a consultation or enquire about the next group seminar, contact Jo Anna directly at (209) 813-0609.

Sleep well,

Jo Anna Inks
Sleep Solutions
(209) 813-0609
joannainks@gmail.com
http://www.joannainkssleepsolutions.com

About Jo Anna Inks:  Jo Anna has been personally trained by Dana Obleman, the creator of The Sleep Sense™ Program, whose methods have been used worldwide by more than 30,000 families to solve their children’s sleep problems.  She offers one-on-one sessions and group seminars for parents, and is available to lead workshops at drop-in groups or for public appearances at a reduced or pro-bono rate. She can be reached at (209) 813-0609 or online at http://www.joannainkssleepsolutions.com